Welcome back from the break!
How'd you guys like those nachos?
You are not here for the fucking food.
You are here for me to enlighten you, edify you...
to send you off into the now not-so-unknown future.
So come along with me.
"How to fake like you are nice and caring."
No, l don't want a microphone.
Now,this...
this is quite an important chapter...
as you will see.
But let's get down to brass tacks.
Let's get right down to it, boys.
Men are shit.
What? Men are shit.
Isn't that what they say?
Because we do bad things, don't we?
We do horrible, heinous, terrible things.
Things that no woman would ever do.
No,women,they don't lie.
No,women don't cheat.
Women don't manipulate us.
But you see what I'm getting at.
You see what society does?
Little boys, it's, "Wow,woman!"
We are taught to apologize.
"l am sorry.
"l am so sorry, baby. l am so sorry."
What is it that...
What is it that we need?
Is it their pussies? Their love?
Mommy wouldn't let me play soccer...
and Daddy, he hit me, so that's who l am.
That's why l do what l do?
Fucking bullshit.
l will not apologize for who l am.
l will not apologize for what l need.
l will not apologize for what l want!
Go to your blue booklets now.
l want you to turn to page 18 in your blue booklets.
This is fucking bullshit!
l want you to go to your white books.
That's what l want you to go to.
Go to twenty-three in your white books.
"How to fake like you are a nice and caring person."
Hey, come here.
I'm...
I'm gonna try talk.
You know, I'm trying to...
to say something-something.
Do you know Lily, Phil? Do you know her?
No, l don't.
She's my love, my life, love of it.
In school...
I'm twelve years old in school, in sixth grade.
l saw her.
l didn't go to that school, but...
but we met.
My friend knew her.
l said...
"What's that girl? How's that Lily?"
"Oh, she's bad. She sleeps with guys."
Yeah, he said this, but then sometimes...
l went to another school, you see.
But then...
When high school at an end, what's that?
What is that when it gets to the end?
Graduation.
No, no,the grade. What grade are you in?
That's 12th.
So l went to her school for that grade.
Grade--that's grade twelve.
And we meet.
She was...
fucking like a doll.
A beautiful porcelain doll.
And the hips...
The child-bearing hips, you know that?
l know.
So beautiful.
And l cheated on her...
over and over and over again.
Because l wanted to be a man.
And l didn't want her to be a woman.
A smart,free person who was something.
My fucking mind then.
So stupid,that fucking mind.
Stupid.
Jesus Christ!
What would l think?
Did l think for what I'd done?
She was my wife for twenty-three years...
and l went behind her over and over.
Fucking asshole that l am.
I'd go out and I'd fuck...
and I'd come home and get in her bed...
and say, "l love you."
This is Jack's mother.
His mother, Lily.
These two...
that l had...
and l lost.
This is the regret that you make.
This is the...
regret that you make and the something you take...
and the blah, blah, blah...
something, something.
Gimme a cigarette.
Mistakes like this...
you don't make.
Sometimes...
you make some and OK.
Not OK, sometimes, you make other ones.
Know that you should do better.
l loved Lily.
l cheated on her.
She was my wife for twenty-three years.
And l have a son.
And she has cancer.
And I'm not there...
and he's forced to take care of her.
He's fourteen years old.
To...
To take care of his mother and...
and watch her die on him.
A little kid, and I'm not there.
And she does die.
l loved her so.
And she knew what l did.
She knew all the fucking stupid things I'd done.
But the love...
was stronger than anything you can think of.
The goddamn regret.
And I'll die.
Now I'll die, and I'll tell you what...
the biggest regret of my life...
l let my love go.
What did l do?
I'm sixty-five years old.
And I'm ashamed.
Million years ago...
The fucking regret and guilt, these things...
Don't ever let anyone ever say to you...
you shouldn't regret anything.
Don't do that.
You regret what you fucking want.
Use that. Use that.
Use that regret for anything, any way you want.
You can use it, OK?
Oh, God.
This is a long way to go with no punch.
A little moral...
Story, l say.
Love.
This fucking life...
it's so fucking hard.
So long.
Life ain't short. It's long.
It's long, God damn it.
God damn.
What did l do?
Phil. Phil, help me.
What did l do?
Juan, how you doing?
How you feeling?
l think I'm going to stay on, stick it out.
Are you sure?
All right, good night.
You're so stupid.
Is love
What you thought
When you first
Began,yeah
You got
What you want
You can hardly stand it,though
By now you know it's not
Going to stop
It's not going to stop
Till you wise up
You're sure
There's a cure
And you have finally found it
You think
One drink
Will shrink you till
You're underground and living down
But it's not going to stop
It's not going to stop
Till you wise up
Prepare a list for what you need
Before you sign away the deed
'Cause it's not going to stop
It's not going to stop
Till you wise up
No, it's not going to stop
Till you wise up
No, it's not going to stop
So just give up
You know,you know,you know.
Go, go, go.
Hello, dear. l need a favor.
All right. Back up, Max.
Back up, Miles.
Hello. You Frank? Jack, right?
Are you Phil?
Tried to get in touch with you. We got disconnected.
Stay in, Max! Hey, come on! Please!
-l got the message. -l couldn't find you.
Earl asked me, so l looked through the address books.
There's no number. There's nothing.
Is what's-her-name...
Linda? No, she went out. She's not here.
Hey, I'm sorry.
l don't know what to do here.
Your dad asked me to get in touch with you...
and l didn't have the number.
l called the number. Want to come in?
-Yeah. Hey, Phil? -Yeah?
l will drop-kick those fucking dogs if they come near me.
All right.
Come on in. This is Blake.
Clear them out.
Miles. Here we go.
All right, he's in here.
So we all go in here.
Want to go in?
No, l just stand here a second, Phil.
Lady!
Hey,wake up.
What's wrong with you?
Here.
How do we do this,then?
Well,we just do it.
We do it. We figure it out.
We do as we do, l guess.
Do you love me, Rose?
You are my handsome man.
I'm a bad person.
l mean...
I'm telling you this now...
because l want everything to be clear and clean...
and l want to apologize for me and the stupid things I've done.
I've cheated on you.
I've cheated on you, and...it kills me...
and the guilt of what I've done...
l don't want you to think that...
Maybe you knew.
l think maybe you've known.
So l hope this is not just for me...
for me to make myself feel better about what I've done...
but for you not to feel like you're sitting there...
like a jerk.
You're the good one.
You understand?
Did you ever go out with someone and just lie...
question after question?
Maybe you're trying to make yourself look cool...
or better than you are or whatever...
smarter, cooler...
and you just...
Not really lie...
but maybe you just don't say everything.
That's a natural thing.
You know,two people go out on a date or something.
They want to impress people...
the other person.
Or they're scared they'll say something...
that will make the other person not like them.
-Thank you. -Thank you.
So you've done it?
l don't go out very often.
Why not?
l never found someone, really, that I'd like to go out with.
l bet you say that to all the girls.
Want to make a deal with me?
What l just said...
people afraid to say things...
no guts to say the things that are real or something...
to not do that.
To not do that that maybe we've done before.
Let's make a deal.
I'll tell you everything, and you tell me everything...
and maybe we can get through all the piss, shit, and lies...
that kill other people.
"Piss and shit."
What?
You really use strong language.
I'm sorry.
No, it's fine.
l didn't mean--It seems vulgar or something, l know.
-It's fine. -I'm sorry.
It's nothing. I'm sorry.
I'm gonna run to the bathroom for a minute maybe,just...
I'm going to go in. Are the dogs in there?
Yeah, but they stay by the window.
l want you to come in with me and stay away from me.
l want you there in case he needs anything...
because l am not going to help him.
And, Phil, l will drop-kick the fucking dogs...
if they come near me.
You don't look that bad.
You prick.
"Cock sucker." That's what you used to like to say, right?
"Cock sucker."
But you are a cock sucker., Earl.
It hurts, doesn't it?
You in a lot of pain?
She was in a lot of pain.
Right to the end, she was in a lot of pain.
l know because l was there.
You didn't like illness, though, do you?
l was there.
She waited for your call.
For you to come.
l am not going to cry.
l am not going to cry for you!
You cock sucker., l know you can hear me.
l want you to know that l hate your fucking guts.
You can just fucking die, you fuck.
And l hope it hurts. I fucking hope it hurts.
Her resps are down to six.
Let's get the gurney over here.
Check that ego
Come off it, I'm a prophet
The professor
I'm gonna teach you 'bout the worm
Who eventually turned to catch wreck
With the neck of a long-time oppressor
And he's runnin' from the devil
But the debt is always gainin'
And if he's worth bein' hurt
He's worth bringin' pain in
Do you feel better now that you've said this?
l don't know.
Well, I'm not...mad.
Well, l am, but l'm...not.
You know?
l love you so much, Rose.
I'm not through asking my questions.
Why doesn't Claudia...
talk to you,Jimmy?
Why?
Because we've...
We both don't know. What do you mean?
No, l think you know.
Maybe...
l don't.
Say it,Jimmy.
l wanted to do that.
Well...
That felt good to do-- to do what l wanted.
Can l tell you something?
Yeah, of course.
I'm really nervous that you're gonna hate me soon.
You're gonna find stuff out about me and hate me.
No. Like what? What do you mean?
You have so much, so many good things...
and you seem so together.
You're a police officer...
straight and put together without any problems.
-l lost my gun today. -What?
l lost my gun today...
and I'm the laughingstock of a lot of people.
l wanted to tell you. l wanted you to know.
It's on my mind.
It makes me look like a fool.
And l feel like a fool.
You asked that we should say things...
say what we're thinking and not lie about things.
l can tell you that l lost my gun today.
I'm not a good cop.
I'm looked down at, and l know that...
and I'm scared that once you find out,you won't like me.
Jim,that was so great.
I'm sorry.
What you just said.
l haven't been on a date since l was married, and...
that was three years ago.
Whatever you want to tell me...
whatever you think might scare me won't.
l will listen to you.
I'll be a good listener if that's what you want.
And l won't judge you.
l know l do that sometimes. l won't.
And l can listen.
And you shouldn't be scared of scaring me off...
or whatever you think that l think and on and on.
Just say it,whatever it is, and I'll listen.
You don't know how fucking stupid and crazy l am.
It's OK.
l got troubles, OK?
I'll take everything at face value.
l started this, didn't l? Fuck!
Whatever it is,just say it.
You'll see.
You want to kiss me?
Yes, l do.
Say it,Jimmy.
l think she thinks...
that l may have molested her.
She thinks terrible things that somehow got into her head...
that l may have done.
She said that to me last time when it was...
Ten years ago she walked out the door.
"You touched me wrong. l know that."
Some crazy thought in her head.
Did you ever touch her?
l don't know.
l really don't.
But you can't say.
l don't know what I've done.
Yes,you do. You do!
But you won't say.
l don't know.
What? Please. Please.
You deserve to die alone for what you've done!
l don't know what I've done.
Yes,you do!
IF l said that l knew, would you stay?
But l don't know what I've done.
You should know better!
Now that I've met you would you object to never seeing me again?
What?
Just say no.
l won't say no. Wait, Claudia.
Just let me go,Jimmy.
What is it? Please, please.
Why didn't you call?
I fucking hate you.
God damn you,fucking asshole.
Oh, God,you fucking asshole.
Don't go away, you fucking asshole.
Oh, God, don't go away, you fucking asshole.
What am l doing?
What the fuck am l doing?
Oh,fuck.
What?
What are you doing, dummy?
Oh, brother.
There are frogs falling from the sky.
Come on! Come on!
Claudia, it's Mom! Open the door, honey!
Claudia, are you there?
Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy!
All right. All right.
It's OK. It's all right now.
It's OK. It's gonna be all right.
This happens.
This is something that happens.
And there is the account of the hanging of three men...
and a scuba diver...
and a suicide.
There are stories of coincidence and chance...
and intersections and strange things told...
and which is which and who only knows?
And we generally say...
"Well, if that was in a movie, l wouldn't believe it."
Someone's so-and-so met someone else's so-and-so...
and so on.
And it is in the humble opinion of this narrator...
that strange things happen all the time.
And so it goes, and so it goes.
And the book says...
"We may be through with the past...
but the past ain't through with us."
I'm sorry,Jack.
It's the hospital calling about Linda.
Who?
Linda. She's in the hospital.
I figured you should probably talk to them since you're here.
Is she gonna be all right?
Could you please tell me where you're located?
Are you with us, Linda? Good.
It is, Linda, isn't it?
Just relax. That's it.
You'll get through this.
Dad.
Dad,you need to be nicer to me.
Go to bed.
You have to be nicer to me, Dad.
Go to bed.
l know l did a stupid thing.
So stupid.
Getting braces.
l thought...
l thought he would love me.
Getting...braces.
For what?
For something l don't even...
l don't know where to put things,you know?
l really do have love to give.
l just don't know where to put it.
A lot of people think this is just a job that you go to.
Take a lunch hour... job's over.
Something like that.
But it's a 24-hour deal.
No two ways about it.
And what most people don't see...
is just how hard it is to do the right thing.
People think if l make a judgment call...
that's a judgment on them, but that is not what l do.
And that's not what should be done.
l have to take everything...
and play it as it lays.
Sometimes people need a little help.
l got a buddy who's supposed to be real good...
at corrective oral surgery.
Sometimes people need to be forgiven.
And sometimes they need to go to jail.
Call me about that. guy with the teeth, OK?
And that is a very tricky thing on my part...
making that call.
l mean,the law is the law.
And heck if I'm gonna break it.
You can forgive someone.
Well,that's the tough part.
What can we forgive?
Tough part of the job.
Tough part of walking down the street.
l just wanted to come here...
to come here and say something...
say something important, something that you said.
You said we should say things and do things.
Not lie, not keep things back...
these sorts of things that tear people up.
Well, I'm gonna do that.
I'm gonna do what you said, Claudia.
l can't let this go.
l can't let you go.
Now,you...
You listen to me now.
You're a good person.
You're a good and beautiful person...
and l won't let you walk out on me.
And l won't let you say those things...
those things about how stupid you are and this and that.
l won't stand for that.
You want to be with me...
then you be with me.
You see?